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Why I am Spock

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So I spend a lot of time on my iPhone with its many apps and of course Pinterest is one of them. While browsing the Geek subsection I stumbled upon my favorite Vulcan:

Quinto Spock

At first I was like, “Oh poor Spock, he’s so sad being Vulcan but human too. Must be very confusing,” Then I was like wait a minute, WAIT A MINUTE! Great scott I too am a child of two worlds. Spock is obviously a literal example and I am a figurative example (one must use those words responsibly). Being Native American mixed with white offers an interesting place within our society. Everyone and their mother view me as white because frankly I look it and my last name is incredibly Polish. Over the years I have taken it as a mask of who I truly am. I do not deny my whiteness and I am proud of my ancestry it is just easier for me to identify as Native American.

My mixed blood has provided me with an unique place in this world. I can live in the mainstream society without people knowing that I am of another race. Therefore I get treated as mainstream society treats most people. I do not deny that I have reaped the benefits of my whiteness, it actually can come in handy. The problem is that I don’t always want to be white. Actually most the time I prefer not to be since it is only part of who I am.

I feel like we live in a world where it has become important for one to have an “identity.” If I have to choose how to identify then I would prefer Native American.  But then comes the stigma that I don’t look “Native” or didn’t grow up that way. What the stuff is that supposed to mean and who defines such things? I don’t believe that race should be a contest (one can not be more “Indianer” than someone else, although check out his 1491s vid). It’s hard enough as it is having two separate and once feuding identities not to be harassed by either side by how much of this or that you are. It can be very confusing.

Now back to Spock (funny thing while writing these the wordpress fairies have brought up a blog from The Nerds of Color about Spock and his mixed-racedness). Growing up on Vulcan he knew nothing different from how he was supposed to be and therefore never acted any differently. I feel that it is not until later that Spock comes into his human side (now don’t criticize bc I am far from knowing everything Trek this is what I think from what I know and I don’t know much). But I know one thing, Spock is truly walking in two worlds and that is an analogy used a lot by Native Americans even those who are not mixed.

Being part of my Native American culture has taken precedence over my white American one (still love all Polish things though!). I feel for those who are mixed and look mixed since they get judged every day. I would not want that for myself but I want people to know who I am. And I am Spock.


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